Thursday, March 1

Public Advisory

We suggest the general public (i.e. people we work with, people who are on the same elevator as us, people who are sitting next to us on the bus, people who, in short, come within speaking distance of us) please not talk to us or expect us to make/understand sparkling repartee at any point in time before noon, on any day of the week. We believe this will prevent, abolish and exterminate painful conversations like this one:

Gora boy in lab (Gbil): So, are you going to get dressed up in traditional Indian dress for the presentation?
Me: Huh? Wha-?
Gbil: Y'know, the wossit. That all you Indian chicks wear. Are you gonna wear it tomorrow?
Me: Huh? What's a traditional Indian dress?
Gbil: It's called a sari. Maybe you've heard of it.
Me: Oh! Right. No. I don't know how to wear one.
Gbil: (in between bouts of mocking laughter) You don't know how to wear one?? All the other Indian chicks I've met know how to wear one.
Me: Well, I don't.
Gbil: What about the round dot? The bindi? Do you know how to wear that? Those arm bracelet things? An anklet maybe?
Me: Oh just *&$@ off (and then because of rigorous training inflicted by my mum while I was still at a tender age), please.

Since, we as always endeavour to give satisfaction to the multitudes who clamour around us for our fascinating discourse, we entreat the public to help us help them. Thank you for your attention. And please remember, fore nooned is fore doomed. Have a nice day.

18 comments:

Shreyasi Deb said...

hahahahahah :-D

Anonymous said...

Loved the please bit Flaffy! :D

Anonymous said...

:) I agree with the namesake...the please bit was err..pleasing...

and..

You dont know how to wear a saree???
Even I *think* I know how to...no I am not a transvestite....

but since we are on a confession spree I dont know how to wear a dhoti...I can see my ancestral "tams of the brahms" turning in their grave...

But that's that I guess.

Revealed said...

@SD: :D

@BM: Blame my mum. I, personally find it quite annoying! :P

@TMWWT: You know how to wear a sari and not a dhoti? Hmm. One wonders.

Cloudy said...

LOL! Forenooned is foredoomed!!! Original? Great one :-)

I know what you mean. I was recently picked at a "masala wedding" (gora boy, desi girl) to dress the gori mems in sarees. Simply on account of my desi-ness. They didn't know what they were in for.

Anonymous said...

Well you clearly have no idea the intricacy involved in wearing the dhoti in the "proper" and "traditional" south indian Brahm way...it is no joke to get he "symmetry" right..the frills"..the right length of the dhoti and not to forget the unmentionables properly covered and tucked in....
it is definitely NOT a piece of cake ( the dhoti I mean) and only rivalled by "madisaaru" in the south indian sartorial excesses...

The mind boggles in recollection of the horror inflicted on poor unsuspecting guys like me...

Anyway with respect to the sarees assuredly I only know the "scientific" way of doing it but how tough can it be anyway?

Revealed said...

@cloudy: True, blue original :D. Lol@ 'masala' wedding story. Did the gori mems spend the rest of the evening clutching their pleats suddenly at odd moments, wearing hunted looks and waddling around like so many ducks? :D

@tmwwt: Ha! You think the dhoti is complicated!!!! At least it *looks* comfortable! You should try doing *nething* with a sari on! It's impossible!! It really is!!!

@Cloudy: Also, can I say I misssssssssssed you and I'm soooooo glad you're back? :)

Sunshine said...

He he he he :D

At least no one can say you didn't warn :-)

BTW, I'm first! :D

Princess Stefania said...

Cheers! Oh kindred spirit, I can't wear one either.
;)

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

i don't understand this sunshine person. always keeping on saying "i am first" when he or she is NEVER FIRST! driving me YINSANE!
someone please to tell this sunshine.

phew.

Revealed said...

@SS: Zackly!! :D.

@PS: >:D<. It's people like you that keep me going, shouldering my mighty troubles :D.

@TGFI: It's all in the claiming, dear one ;)

Vi said...

Aaah, what a jerk!

Though, I learned how to tie a sari just by watching my mother do it everyday. Not that this is a reflection on you. :)

Revealed said...

@vi: i'm hoping that the jerk comment wasn't aimed at me :-S. *applauds vi's learning skills and ponders sadly her own lack of the same*

wiseling said...

I have yet not managed to learn the fine art that is sari draping... i leave my poor grandmother in despair everytime i try.. so i have given up and given in... i just stand quietly munching on my chocolate bar while it is efficiently draped around me :) (the whole three times i have had to wear one!)

Revealed said...

@Wiseling: Me tooooo. :). See, now I feel less bizarre. I'm obviously in pretty good company :D

Mel said...

*chuckling*

I thought the "please" was a nice touch!

Good on you!

And if it's all in the claiming, I'm taking my ever popular 'fourth'. ;-)

maya said...

me 5th :)why even bother wearing a sari!!!!!!!

Revealed said...

@mel: Heheheh :). Again that's my mum's doing not mine :D.

@Maya: Welcome back. Missed ya :D