Public Advisory

We suggest the general public (i.e. people we work with, people who are on the same elevator as us, people who are sitting next to us on the bus, people who, in short, come within speaking distance of us) please not talk to us or expect us to make/understand sparkling repartee at any point in time before noon, on any day of the week. We believe this will prevent, abolish and exterminate painful conversations like this one:

Gora boy in lab (Gbil): So, are you going to get dressed up in traditional Indian dress for the presentation?
Me: Huh? Wha-?
Gbil: Y'know, the wossit. That all you Indian chicks wear. Are you gonna wear it tomorrow?
Me: Huh? What's a traditional Indian dress?
Gbil: It's called a sari. Maybe you've heard of it.
Me: Oh! Right. No. I don't know how to wear one.
Gbil: (in between bouts of mocking laughter) You don't know how to wear one?? All the other Indian chicks I've met know how to wear one.
Me: Well, I don't.
Gbil: What about the round dot? The bindi? Do you know how to wear that? Those arm bracelet things? An anklet maybe?
Me: Oh just *&$@ off (and then because of rigorous training inflicted by my mum while I was still at a tender age), please.

Since, we as always endeavour to give satisfaction to the multitudes who clamour around us for our fascinating discourse, we entreat the public to help us help them. Thank you for your attention. And please remember, fore nooned is fore doomed. Have a nice day.