Tuesday, March 13

Think String Theory

Gather around, children. It's Theory Time again. This is one of our pet ones. So if anyone, and we mean anyone (cept you, of course *smiles disarmingly*) dares pooh-pooh it, they have another think coming (Get it? Think. And the theory is called Think Theory. See? :D). So, in the grand tradition of Einstein, Newton and this upstart Stephen dude, we have decided that it's time for a Unified Theory of Thoughts. It's also called What Happens to Thought Thoughts (yeah, I have tons of those pun type things happening. Do not groan. It's impolite!).
To start at the beginning (the best place to start, we hear), it's most politic to examine the Origins of Thoughts. So basically, in lay terms, a thought comes into being the instant a brain thinks it, right? It's created, it has an existence. What's more, it has a reason. A purpose for being. It was brought into this world to accomplish something unique. Something only it can achieve. There is no existential angst in the thought community because for the most part they know where they come from, where they're going, and being more sophisticated than mere humans, they know who created them. Now though they're all created equal, in the fine fashion of our world some are more equal than others. So the more equal ones are given proper houses and admiration. They're given credit. They're feted and idolized. They're set down in pages and other brains and some remain immortal.
But (and it's a big but) what happens to the fraction of thoughts that are thought and then abandoned by their creator? The ones that are brushed aside. The destitute ones that stand at traffic signals begging for sustenance. The refugees, the unwanted ones. Do they have a Home for Orphan Thoughts? That takes in the strays. Puts them all together in a Thought Lounge? With a little dart board and a TV? No. We must be practical. Such things don't happen in the real world (and we're nothing if not realistic). So, we postulate that as per our findings, the stray thoughts evaporate. Right. You heard me. They just slip out of the numbskull who stuck them in a dusty unused corner and they flit around. Because they have to fulfill their destinies. See? It's like a survival instinct. They are born along with the notion of a niche to fill. It's like a MPD type thing. Two thoughts in one. The thought itself and the corollary notion (their relationship we have reason to believe is a lot like a person and his doppelganger). So these flitting thoughts earth themselves in new places. Hoping eternally to find the bliss of transforming into an epiphany. This is a lot like the caterpillar-butterfly transformation. Now, some brains are more receptive to these Stray Thoughts than others. They work as lightning poles. The s.t enters, earths itself and after five minutes of incubation explodes as an epiphany. Now, an epiphany, we all know, is paid attention to simply because it comes out of the blue. Elementary psychology. You see a thing for the first time, suddenly, and it seems splendiferous. So, basically it's all strung together, see? A think string. New thought born, evaporates, earths itself, explodes and is immortalised. In other words, every thought exists as a string, encompassing it's past, present and future avatars. And the whole sentient world is made of these Think Strings. Floating around. This in a nutshell, is the Think String Theory.

It has not escaped our notice that our theory not only explains what happens to unused thoughts, but also with perfect economy explains the occurence of epiphanies. In a previous paper we had spoken about epiphanies (we wanted to link to the paper, but couldn't find it! Which makes us wonder whether we just thought it or if we really wrote it. Or if we are yet to write it but having given the think string existence, we have a memory of the thought in it's future epiphanized form) and their likelihood of occurence in passing. We feel that this work is only a continuation of that one, a small cog that helps turns the huge wheel (of umm..Whatever). We expect great things from this discovery, in its own small way. We're very proud of it. Sort of like our protege. Huh? What was that? Oh right. We've exceeded the word limit. Just one more thing. We'd like to thank the editors of Science for considering our little theory worthy of publication in their journal. Initiative like this will bump up their readership numbers, we believe. So goodferya, old chaps. Two thumbs up.


Renovatio said...

Sweet mother of god's great aunt.

That actually makes sense... Reminds me of an episode of scrubs... were you on the epiphany toilet when you came up with that one? :D

Anonymous said...

Awesome reading!:D
A thought just occurred to me and the n it just vanished in thin air - waiting (and pretty hopelessly, i'm sure!) to be epiphanized by some hot shot brainiac!
But you know what this Think String Theory holds for a famous-wannabe? Now they can actually consider calling "The Theory Of Relativity" theirs!! Now *thats* a thought!! Any buyers? :P

P.S. - every 27th letter is 'm' and every 6th word has its 3rd letter as a 'd'? No, not quite, flaffy. Don't even bother counting - you can have my word for it!

Anonymous said...

Wow..ok ok I admit...I expected the Descartian Cogito Ergo Sum thrown in somewhere...

Such is Life.

Revealed said...

@renovatio: Hehehe. No, I leave that to the newbies of the world. Me, I'm a natural epiphany-earther ;).

@BM: LOL! That's a good one! Patents go out of the window, huh? What price intellectual property :P

@TMWWT: What, like 'They Are, Therefore I Think'?
Descartes was always too serious for me. Such a desperate quest. Not my style :D

Tabula Rasa said...

stringofconsciousness :-D

Szerelem said...

Descartes was just strange. I don't know how he went from "Cogito ergo sum" to proving the presence of an all powerful, all knowing, benevolent god.

I don't know if my thought have any purpose though. Most of them are just lame. Or dumb. or totally pointless. Most certainly not the kind that would make the survival of fittest cut.

Confused & Baffled said...

oh very nice!

on a completely unrelated and not really important issue (of course), since when have you become a we?

It's like a MPD type thing.

i guess that explains it.

on another completely unrelated but extremely vital topic, where are the chocolate reviews? have we abandoned our quest?

Revealed said...

@tr: First Descartes and then Woolf. I'm much lowered :P

@szerelem: That's why I think it was a desperate quest :). Your thoughts *do* have a point!! See, how you *just* made a point about cogito ergo sum????!!!!

@c&b: 1. I became we cos that's how you *write* in papers. You don't even want to take all the blame in case they find out that that you were talking flaff. Capisce? My MPD is so well sorted out that all my personalities think they're the only ones. So they always say I :D.

2. We *never* but *never* abandon quests. It's in the pipeline. It's proving harder than expected. *sigh*

Revealed said...


wiseling said...

teehee... loved it.. i also feels like we sometimes...
and the choco-reviews.. i know i am slacking.. but i shall be back soon.. with a bang.. or a toblerone... you know.. something :)

Revealed said...

Wiseling, you're always saying the nicest things :). As for chockie reviews I'm gonna start resorting to threats soon! [-(