I was going to give this long intro with like this amazing analogy and some remarkably subtle word play. Y'know a clever paragraph which would just open your eyes to my amazing intelligence as well as my incredible scope of general knowledge. But I (as usual) underestimated the power of laziness (and also how exhausting moving house can be; there! I have a legit excuse). So: songs are people. That's it. That's my theory. And what's more, I have an exemplary line of defense. (This btw is the new style of this blog. Cut and dried, which is a phrase I always wanted to use but never ever managed to fit into a sentence properly. Also cos it's really hard to get a context where you can say cut and dried and I'm kinda unsure as to whether it's cut and dried or cut and dry or cut and right, and one doesn't want to say one of it and have everyone else stare in incomprehension and so forth. Something tells me I'm losing my c. and d. style already. *sigh*)
Take it Easy : Obviously he's like the chilled out guy whom every girl in high school had a crush on. The one who had at least 3 girlfriends at any point in time. The one with the fast, noisy bike, which every girl wanted a ride on. Without the black leather jacket, the smoking and the sleazy hagged face (that comes later, no?). Ok, maybe with the leather jacket after all.
Wild World : The nice ex. The one who was perfect. The one whom all your gfs envied. The one who thought you were perfect. Who always said the right thing. Who always adjusted his mood to yours. The one whom you dumped, cos let's face it, perfect is boring (besides being awfully intimidating)! But everytime you hear about him from someone else, or when you hear a song that reminds you of him, or turn the TV on and see the re-run of a movie you saw with him, you have to smile.
Sleep : The hot desi guy. Very hard to find. So that when you *do* meet him, you almost can't believe your eyes. No way! you're thinking. The delicious guy who knows how to shake a martini just so, and uses phrases like "social constipation", with that slightest of desi accents. The guy whom you can imagine slipping into.. ummm.. anything with.
Two Steps Behind : The psycho ex. We all know this one. The one who seemed so caring. Who thought about you all the time. Sent you those cute texts the minute you left him saying he missed you. The one who'd let you go out with your gfs on a girl's night out, but would call you every now and then to check on you (that gets old really fast). The one who was so sensitive it was actually sinister. The one it's almost impossible to get outta your head. The one who's always *sigh* two steps behind.
The Great Beyond: Me, 2005.
Wonderwall: The guy with the charming laidback attitude to life. With those irresistible dimples when he smiles. The curly hair that looks like it's never combed. The guy you want to take charge of. Straighten out his life. The one with all the talent that can't be just left to rot. The one with the little boy good looks. The one who gives clueless a good name.
(sorry about the shocking typo-it can't even be called a typo- but blame it on the shocking effect of pop culture :)..still couldn't get Ella, but managed a PC, which isn't bad; also realized that I'd written this wrong this morning and came online just to change it-I think I might be addicted to this blog cos I'm *not* obsessive compulsive!!!)
Photographs : The guy who used to smoke in school, just for a gag (I know, I thought about the gag-fag wordplay thing and then decided against it, you'll be happy to know). There were rumors that he did drugs. The immensely popular guy. When his uncle died, some kids in school said *meaningful* things about it. But you never believed any of 'em. Cos he *seemed* like such a nice guy. Always a smile for you. And a word. That made you feel so special. And happy. And made you smile yourself. The one whose now five times bigger, jobless and broke but when you see him at high school reunions and he smiles at you you can still see a little of that charm somewhere wayyyyyyyyy back in his eyes.
Iris : Six words. Your mother warned you about him.
Why Does it Always Rain on Me : Me, now.
See? See, what I mean? They're all people!!! Gimme any song and I'll give you a person (that's a promise, not a threat; even though it remarkably resembles one).
As a bonus, a fun exercise (to see how many of the stellar principles I used in these examples you've actually imbibed). Guess the personality of this one.
(I also have a killer corollary that albums are families - y'know complete with mum-dad-sis-bro-annoying aunt-balding uncle analogies. But that requires more examplification and zere is no time, peoples *looks under the bed frantically for time, that little idiot*.)
Gosh, I'm so glad that I've finally got a theory that I *know* noone will argue with me about (*gulp* Something tells me I shouldn't have said that. Fine, fine! Bring it on *faces the firing squad with grim anticipation*).
Note: To someone who's been asking me for more songs, click on the links :). They're all beauts and I have 'em only on iTunes. Even The Way You Look Tonight (even if you roll your eyes and say "That old song").
Update: Over at the 55s, we've started some Song-55s. Check them out.