To Cloudy (the Girl who Couldn't Like Poetry, and Who Can Blame Her)

or Oh! To Care a Monkey for the Blogger Barons

When in doubt or anything else
(or simply to impress hesitant belles)
There is no trail or avenue
So trusted as The Smackeroo

But though tempted, I won't be led
To talk of things that happen in bed.
This verse speaks only of option two
When in doubt, and what to do.

Oft the green 'un with furrowed brow
On starting a blog, overcome with woe
Wonders about fame and stuff
And also if he's done enough

"Let me insert some more pix
Of girls in drag and assorted dicks"
He even writes up serious posts
On feminism and Shakespeare's ghosts.

All of this can be eschewed
If you indulge in something shrewd
Versification might be tricky
But, for Fame, it beats a Hicky

You mightn't be another Pablo Neruda
Your poems might turn intestines to faluda
But if in your heart you want to succeed
To all your detractors (and there'll be many) pay no heed

For tis true that he won't fete you
Wocky certainly won't rush to greet you
This chap might raise a supercilious brow
And she most likely into you will plough*

Stare them down calmly and do not desist
(Though they don't even know you exist)
Cos maybe in an unmarked grave you'll lie
But you'd have Written a Poem before you die

So bloggers and blogrettes take heart and hearken
Trust me, nobody will your blogstep darken
'less you learn to find the words that rhyme
With love and dove and dust and grime

And when you've achieved this special skill
And wonder why noone visits your blog still
Remember that a special circle in Hell
Is reserved for those who can't doggerel.

So, take up your pens, and take a deep breath
To poetry and never stop (unless threat-
-ened by hapless victims who can't understand
Why you won't stop torturing them) and

While they stand around baffled, calling you an arse
And you, red-faced with effort continue to parse
I shall laugh evilly (muahahaha) internet ishtyle
Pliss to remember, Revenge is Futile.

THE END

*Especially if you rhyme about
Feminism, you ignorant lout
Cos girls are pretty and very nice
Unlike boys who stink of flies

Update: So they took my advice!!! Can you believe it? At this rate the world might come to an end, soon!