Monday, September 10

To The Social (or Otherwise) Rejects of this, the Desi Blogosphere

Have you been blogging for ages but noone gossips about you? Have you been blogging for ages, social networking, reaching out to people and yet having noone gossip with you about someone else (we are desi bloggers, for pity's sake. Why does noone gossip about anyone with me?? Why?)? Have you written spellbinding posts and received not one single fan mail? Have you never had a psycho stalker mail you with an anonymous death threats? Then, you, dear one, are eligible for application to the Society of Counter-Inners. We Count You In. This is our motto. Be warned though. Oversized, rhinestone studded sunglasses are a must-have as are silk scarves with sparkly threads. Oh and also there is the small matter of the Blood-Mingling-Ceremony that Must Be Performed before you can enter the club-hall (or room or hut or park bench or whatever). So pliss to perform your HIV tests and have the results handy before applying cos your Application Will Not Be Processed without the same (cept for you Ph darlin' cos you have been given an exemption as per our previous communication due largely to the No Weight Loss in Recent Times clause).

We are open to applications as of now. Citizens of the Blogosphere, this is a call to Arms. Yes, Arms we want and Arms we Shall Have or by God...well, something we will Have to Do (and it will Not Be Pretty).

18 comments:

Pri said...

what makes you so sure no one gossips about you?

also where does one get a cheap car [with air conditioning] with special discount on returning current non air conditioned car in houston in a week?

Renovatio said...

Gossip's bullshit. Never got it.

Ph said...

Um there was the one time that someone told me that someone told them that I am a lesbian. (Not that there is anything wrong with that, she hastens to add)

Nath said...

That Noone fellow is incorrigible. Gossips about everyone.

(Sorry. The word 'noone' amuses me.)

IdeaSmith said...

Yes, yes, YESSS...finally! Here's my application...errm, where do I send it?

??! said...

you're just jealous of my anonytrolls....who oddly enough seem to have disappeared since I warned them. oh yay!

Chronicus Skepticus said...

I've never had a psycho-stalker-death-threat. Not a one.

mumblestupidpickypsychostalkerpeopleItellyougrumble.

What use is all this fervent blogging, I ask you? What use?!

Revealed said...

@pri: I *know* people gossip about me! But I'm founding member. I don't need to Meet Any Criteria!

Hmmm. Lotsa people. Have you tried the toyota dealership near 610? Actually I have one that might fit the bill :D

@r: Tsk. Yeah. Get all macho on me. See if I care.

@ph: Hmm. But you're already in. So doesn't matter than you apparently are not meeting *any* of the criteria!

Tabula Rasa said...

*stops by to note that chronicus' blogging is about as fervent as that of a distracted bureaucrat lolling in an overheated overhumid metropolis playing pacman in alcohol-induced torpor. aka jap.

Revealed said...

@nath: I *know*! Stupid Noone chappie! But it's not his fault, really. He's been insecure ever since Everyone said Anyone could be Noone.
And welcome back, stranger!! Where *have* you been?

@Ideasmith: Tsk. I dunno if star-bloggers (other than ph) can really apply. We shall have to convene a meeting to discuss your application.

@??!: Yes. This is true. I am. Vairy jealous. Noone nonytrolls me. Sigh.

@CS: Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Babe, you're so in the society. I waive the application for you.

Brown Magic said...

ah yes - i believe you remember my numerous complaints about my blog's inability to attract both psycho stalkers and haters. I should be a shoo-in.

Renovatio said...

I know you find the machismo sexy.

And tr, you've stopped canoodling on my blog. No fair. Though I suppose my dear revealed makes up for it. Revealed love, not saying you're overdoing it, you're always welcome.

Revealed said...

@bm: We talked about this. But you *are* a starblogger. So I dunno...

@r: You need say no more. I am not welcome. I understand. Never let it be said that the Revealeds cannot take a hint!

Tabula Rasa said...

what, me canoodle?

Chronicus Skepticus said...

@TR: What, me play pacman?

(and hey, compared to J.A.P, I'm *definitely* a fervent post-er. Definitely!)

Nath said...

And welcome back, stranger!! Where *have* you been?

Oh, you know. Saving the world, pulling schoolchildren out of blazing infernos. The usual.

...OK, eating poptarts in bed and renting crappy movies from Netflix. It's the thought that counts.

Revealed said...

@nath: Poptarts!!! Ewwwww. And what you don't usually save the world on your off days???? Could knock me down with a feather!

IdeaSmith said...

I think you're confusing the glare from the flames that issue from my luverly dragon's lips with stars. I protest and demand to be treated on par with other bullshit blogger applications!