Tuesday, January 16

How to Move a Mountain (In one Easy Step)

The answer lies in a five letter word with f in it (faith in case you were wondering ). But before I fascinate all of you with the story of What Happened at 3 A.M This Morning, let me just add that I have not given up my ambitions of adding seriosity to this blog (in fact as proof of that, this post is gonna be...yeah u guessed it.. serious). But before writing the feminism-finance-geopolitical situation post, I got waylaid by this post that came pouring into my brain when I woke up for the second time last night at 3 A.M (and yeah I know that's this morning and not last night, and yeah it is the story of What Happened at 3 A.M This Morning that I mentioned earlier). This I apprehend is an example of How Life Happens and also How Time and Tide Wait for No Man (or Woman), and if I was a different sort of blogger I could stun all of you by providing sage wisdom on all of that. But I'm not (Thank God For That..and dont you love Capitalizing Words?). So without Further Ado, That Which Happened at 3 A.M This Morning...ta da (those are Drum Rolls FYI)......

Once upon a time there was a girl (who is me btw), who loved that her brain worked best in the wee hours when sunlight was yet to creep into the sky, let alone her room, and there were shadows on her walls, and the slightest noise started off a trend of thought that left her with the answer to How To Move a Mountain (and other suchlike Erudite Questions). Tis a pity though that these thoughts wouldn't stay in her head till the morning. Anyway getting on with the story at hand (more a parable actually, or do I mean fable?). One night, she woke up at 3 in the morning, with a start (it seemed appropriate). There were burglars in the house. Two of them. A man and a woman. All in black. Those catsuit type things, y'know? Masks and all. They came in through the balcony door. She heard it slide open and the rattle of the shutters as they slithered into the living room. The man had a coil of rope around his shoulder. Probably how he managed to climb up in the first place. Her lap top!!! It was on the red rug in the middle of the floor. Staring at them. Screaming to be stolen. What would she do if they took it? How would she go online? And chat? And mail? And blog? Should she dash out at them, yelling like a banshee? Would a pink pajama clad tiny banshee impress anyone enough to scare them away? She quickly scanned her brain to remember all the tips given in the million forwards she had received, which were supposed to help her in just such a situation as this. No help. She could remember how to get help if she was attacked in her car, or a parking lot, or a dark alley, but not in her apartment. She cursed her brain cells. She strained to listen for further creeping from the living room. Would they get a midnight snack (sheremembered reading somewhere that most burglars check your fridge for a snack)? What if they came into the bedroom? Should she crawl under the bed? Or make a dash for her phone and call 911 or something.

By this time she was exhausted (thinking did this to her sometimes, unused muscles and suchlike). So she snuggled deeper into the covers (it was a cold night), and thought some Deep and Most Profound Thoughts on the Power of Belief (if we consider belief to be a delusion, an imagined something that appears absolutely amazingly convincingly real even in the face of no evidence or facts to support it; I could make a snarky comment about the God Hypothesis right now but I won't, restraint is the key one feels). And as she dropped off to sleep, she discovered the answer to the question, How to Move a Mountain. It was most satisfactory and she decided that she had to share the Truth with all her blog readers. It was, in fact her last thought as she went back to sleep. So this morning when she sat down to write this post, she decided that the fact that she couldn't remember the answer to the Most Profound Question of How to Move a Mountain should not stand in the way of her imparting wisdom to all and sundry (especially with the newly acquired seriosity of this blog). So she hoped that if she was destined to achieve only one thing in her life, it was this: to know (and to spread the word) that waking up in the middle of the night and imagining burglars in your house can be a Profound Experience even if you don't have Anything to show for it.

Cautionary Note: You didn't expect it to make sense, didja?

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

I read drearily till the end, expecting to see some sense of sage wisdom and seriosity (is that a word?) in the end.

relieved that it didnt.

i had a profound experience just yesterday. i believe it could have changed my life and all too. i dont know how i forgot it.

Revealed said...

@C&b: Hehehe. 'I read drearily till the end'. That put me in my place :P. Thank you. And yes, seriosity IS a word! You doubt me? [-(

maya said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
maya said...

btw thinking u hv burglars is cake walk compared to thinking a ghost is squeezing the o2 off yr chest!!!thats what i thot !!!:)))

Revealed said...

@maya: More profundity comes? :P. Hehe

Anonymous said...

ha. much fun :D

Sunshine said...

I'm first :D

Wow, I really did expect some burglars :D.

Revealed said...

@n: Ty for not reading drearily till the end. C&b much shook my belief in my writing. Heheh.
@SS: So did i ;)

Anonymous said...

instead of cautionary note, it should be, culinary note: did u expect it to be edible!!!

The Man Who Wasnt There said...

and oh I thought the easy answer answer to that profound question ( Perhaps the ultimate question to Douglas's ultimate answer? :| ) was to have "faith" that one cannot basically move it. Period.

Works pretty well for me..none of this moving mountains and Sisyphean moving up the mountains stuff for me.

Revealed said...

@Adi: LOL! Next post, I promise.

@t_m_w_w_t: But of course the answer's 42!!! Y didn't I think of it? Tsk.
I actually thought he was pretty clever y'know (Atleast if we're talking about the same Sisyphus). Hate when the Gods play spoilsport just cos they lost.

Obi Wan said...

While I am not sure whether can or cannot move mountains, of whatever size or weight, what I am sure of is that it allows you to claim 2nd position even though 11 comments have already been posted.

Extremely profane, ohhh I mean profound wisdom in that post btw :-)

The Man Who Wasnt There said...

Well I guess you didnt think of it because you needed someone who wasnt err..there to tell you..:P

Is there another Sisyphus? :)But where did the gods playing spoilsport come in..?

and oh incidentally Dawkin's fan here too..though I didnt The God Delusion was that bad...

Revealed said...

@Obi: Hehehe. Ty for appreciating the profanity..oops..profundity :D.
@t_m_w_w_t: Hehe. There could have been another Sisyphus, couldn't there have? Its a pretty weird name I think, but mebbe in his day and age it was like Ram or Tom or something :P. And of course the Gods played spoilsport!! I mean yeah, he tricked them into letting him stay alive when he was dead, but if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen n such like, right? :P
The God Delusion, the only reason I didn't like it was cos it smacked of evangelism, and evangelism in atheism...hmm..doesn't seem right. I see no point in replacing one god with no god. We're having the same arguments that two believers have, c? A believes in his absence and B believes in his presence, and hence its *still* the bone of contention, doesn't solve anything!

Revealed said...

@t_m_w_w_t: You're almost tempting me into writing another post in the comments section of this one :P.

The Man Who Wasnt There said...

Well sure but being an avowed Camus fan There is only one Sisyphus for me..ah that's nice..so if I cant take the err.."heat" I get out of the kitchen?;) Which brings us to the question moot..what the heck where they doing in the kitchen in the first place??? that is some food for though..
Now lets not cook up something shall we? :p

Anyway gastronomic distractions aside coming to the lesser important question of existence of God I really dont think you can say the book was "evangelical". I mean using that argument almost most of the things can be termed as being one. As he clearly states in his preface unlike his other books this one has an obvious "agenda". Well so did Nietzsche and Sartre for that matter. And come come assuming you are an atheist ( well I dont know..you could be an agnostic!:) ) please dont give me that "believe" argument. That's taking refuge in semantics and we both know it.

Anonymous said...

I want some of whatever it is that you inhale/ingest.

:)

Revealed said...

@t-m_w_w_t: Heh. A Camus believer huh? Y'know the most depressing day of my life was when I was first introduced to the Absurdist notion. I thought that it was MY theory and that noone else had ever thought of it and turns out that people have acknowledged it for eons now. Most lowering. :P
N yes, I confess to being atheist, but only after much deliberation. And I don't think the belief thing is just semantics. Atheism allows for tolerance and NON-fanaticism. That is its biggest charm. Agendas and atheism? I dunno.
(And Nietzche was much wittier, much as I love Dawkins)
@TGFI: If I gave some to everyone who asked for it, we'd all be me! Scary thought!!! Hence, I decline your request (most regretfully btw :P).

Anonymous said...

When did Camus "fan" became equivalent of Camus "believer"? :P Ah yes i understand about the Absurdist part..it's like the day when I was totally disappointed and shelved my sunny side and bon homie outlook and became a Schopenhauer "fan" after I realized that positive thinking and optimism had been thought of before eons ago...:P

Somewhere up there there is a big irony...

The agenda bit was with respect to the book ( As Dawkins himself acknowledges it )
and Nietzsche wittier?? really??Was I reading the wrong author
? Next thing I know you are going to say his nom de plume was Wodehouse who was Douglas Adams all along really..:P:)

Revealed said...

@t_m_w_w_t: So basically you are fanatic about Camus but don't believe him :). Nice. Hehe. But unlike you I don't make those fine distinctions :P. I'm a Camus fan AND an Absurdist believer :D.

(N its DEF quite a BIG irony :P)

N sir, comparing PGW with NE1 (even if its Adams/Nietzche) will be considered objectionable on this Blog and your comments henceforward wrt this subject might/might not (depending on my mood) be summarily deleted! :P

R u seriously denouncing Nietzche's niceness of phrasing?

Anonymous said...

tut tut...your conclusions are non sequitur :P

Anyway I wonder whether one "believes" in Absurdism or "realizes" one is a Absurdist ?:|

Right o Miss Jeeves! No comparisons shall me made of the inimitable PGW!
Now pip o will you?

Nietzsche? niceness of phrasing? Maybe you read some other translation..:) But admittedly I haven't read all his books. Btw seeing the reference to chennai blog...art thou from that city?

Revealed said...

@t_m_w_w_t: I'm moving all replies to next post comments (since neway this conv has nothing to do with nething that i write about :P)

n said...

i totally read till the end, btw

wiseling said...

q: how to move a mountain?
a: poke it.

p.s. i like to poke things. it's fun.