Saturday, August 11

In Which Ph Awakens to a New Dawn

Because I have exams next week. Because I have a huge list of things I'm supposed to know like the back of my hand by now. Because I've spent the better part of the day revising this list in such a way that though the number of things to do on it keep decreasing the amount of work I have to do appears to increase every time I look at it. Because I've eaten all the cookies in the cookie jar (double chocolate chip, totally delish). Because I've made three cups of tea in the course of three hours (and jasmine tea *is* proper tea!). Because I've run out of funny faces to make at my phone camera and send to everyone I know (mainly because some of them promptly sent back pics. The pain of seeing other people out shopping (thank you, bm) almost killed me. So.). Because my idiot roomie who was supposed to come back early so that we could go out and do something fun is still not back. Because I can't think of anything else to do that'll keep me from that awfully big textbook sitting on the bed next to me. Because, basically. I present the one in which KSA finds Ph (and surreal is all you're going to get (sorry Unkel ji) but surreal isn't all that bad. Really.).

The set up, you must admit, jobless reader, is perfect. We have two cars (both beauts, I hear) racing on the highway. We have a father on a desperate chase united with his beloved daughter (the Apple of his Eye) but in the process losing his equally beloved car (Sophie's Choice, one might almost say). We have an intrepid car-thief (with the coolest handbag for which crime I might have to kill her off) and a umm..well a Baron F. We have a damsel in distress who has captivated the heart of a Knight in Shining Armor (the KSA in question might or might not be the anti-Falstaff. But sshhh let's not give everything away). We have the gourmand, bibliophilic sister of the KSA (what do we call her?) and we have the prescient 55er-Oracle who has just swtiched camps. We, more excitingly, have the KSA and Sis in hot pursuit of the d-i-d who herself is en route to Portugal. Will Baron JAP take his daughter home considering a car lost simply a car gained. Or will he count a car lost, a heart broken and insist on recovering it? Will Ph think fondly of the handsome face (well, helmet and plume if you want to nitpick) of KSA and sigh as she loses herself in the rambling, rose-smelling maze of lurrrveee? Will KSA triumph over his alter-ego and claim the hand of his damsel-in-distress? Will ??! ever forgive KSA for interrupting her dreams of floating truffles? Will TR survive in the company of the strung out JAP? So many questions.

But none of these will be answered here-in. Instead let us focus our attentions on Wiseling, our 55er-Oracle. While some (numbskulls!) might sneeringly allude to comparisons with James Blunt, the truth of the matter is that the Wiseling's actions are imperative for the safe coming together of this entire story (the tunnel, in fact can be seen at the end of all these lights, never fear, folks).We left the Wiseling in a huff. Slamming doors onto empty rooms and making general drama. But not for nothing is she an Oracle. She unerringly knew where to go in her time of need. In her moment of truth. In her nadir of hurt despair. She floated with determined wafts to her house, flung in without knocking and throwing herself into her mum's arms, cried her eyes out. "Awww honey. There, there. Things are going to be fine. Who did this to you, then? Who?", murmured CS soothingly as she patted her daughter's back. "They- I mean- The gall- I didn't- Shut up-", sobbed Wiseling incoherently. "Yes, yes, I understand. How could they.", stated CS gently, getting up to get her daughter some water. At the end of a tear-filled 5 minutes, CS had the whole story. "How dare they?!", she said, her eyes flashing magnificently. "But daughter mine, this is not the time for tears and coming home. This is the time to go fight. We cannot let our proud name be insulted in this fashion. We are not the 55er-Oracles for nothing". The Wiseling drew herself up. "What do I do, mum?", she asked. CS' mouth became a straight line. "There is only one way, daughter. Find the Professor. He is the key." The Wiseling nodded. Hadn't she suspected this herself. "I won't return till we are avenged, mum", she said, turning back at the door. CS smiled proudly. "Daughter", she said. The Wiseling looked at her. "?" "You're forgetting your 55s.", she reminded her with maternal sympathy and a blow-softening smile. The Wiseling blushed, nodded at her mum and closed the door softly behind her as she left.

17 comments:

Falstaff said...

"Will KSA triumph over his alter-ego and claim the hand of his damsel-in-distress?"

Errr...by alter-ego I hope you don't mean Baron F. Because I can assure you Baron F. has no interest in the hand (or any other part) of any damsels (in distress or otherwise). At this point Baron F's only desire is to be reunited with his books of poetry and rather large decanter of fine cognac that he keeps at home.

Arthur Quiller Couch said...

I really need footnotes to understand this stuff. Even after I went and read the back story.
Free grass might also help.

Tabula Rasa said...

CS has kids? Now when did *that* happen?

scout said...

like i was telling tr the other day - every single blogger has been featured except scout - and scout finds it very difficult to keep her interest in the story alive anymore.

yes?

Renovatio said...

I got a numbskull mention :p

You missed my ode to the oracle on your other post :p

Anonymous said...

now i see why i lost my sister to the cyber blogging bloody world!!!!shes busy cooking up crazy stories, the only way to keep in touch seems to be thru bloggggs

Revealed said...

@Baron F: Hah! But what if the road back home led to a confrontation with your alter-ego? Huh? What then?

@aqc: It's surrealist pre-post-modernist writing. Only very few people can understand it. It's umm very literary.

@tr: Many moons ago. A drunken night. A cute ass on the barstool next to her. The rest, fessor, is history.

Revealed said...

@scout: Did you really think you'd be left out, chica? Tsk tsk. Grow a little faith (we hear loamy soil works really well).

@renovatio: I saw it and raised you one.

@my dear darlin sis: Tsk tsk. I am not lost. I am found. (And it would help if you picked up your phone every so often. We hear it's a simple mechanism. You press the green button!)

wiseling said...

snicker. one is officially flattered.

Chronicus Skepticus said...

Eh? I am the Wiseling's mommy?? Mysterious...most mysterious.

So, who's her daddy?

Chronicus Skepticus said...

I just re-read and dear god, this "Find the Professor. He is the key" sounds most ominous.

Still, we like the 'magnificently flashing eyes'.

*practices MEFs in the mirror*

Maya said...

who is " me" then???i am absolutely clueless anyways:D thot i wld pitch in my enquiry too 4 wiw!!!:)

Tabula Rasa said...

cs:
hate to introduce some culture into this thread, but

arrows of neon and flashing my keys out on main street

??! said...

let's call her kim.

Revealed said...

@wiseling: Yayyy.

@cs: *You* outta know! Though I did come up with interesting back story no? Oh wait did I actually mean cheesy back story? Meh pot-ay-tos pot-ah-tos.And I was going for ominous so yayy.

@maya: Very deep. Impressive.

@tr: The doodah man! Whoo hoo.

@??!: Hehe. Too slick. Oh wait I'm not talking to you! I take that back. *marches off in grave silence*

??! said...

ghumpy-boo.

Renovatio said...

Faaaaack, dood.