"And that's for all the mice I've tortured"
"This one's for the women I didn't save..."
"...that for the problems I didn't solve..."
"...this one for the questions I didn't answer..."
"..and here's for the diseases I didn't cure"
"That's for the 3 AM depression fits"
"That's for the constant worrying about never ever being able to afford a house"
"This one's for the grants that were never funded"
"There's 10 for the weeks of helplessness, inadequacy and loss of control"
"This is for the experiments that never worked..."
"..and the time courses that never produced interesting results..."
"..and the weekends spent in correcting proofs of manuscripts that never got submitted..."
"...poster sessions where noone came up to my poster...."
"..a big, fat one for crappy-ass conferences..."
"This here's for insane post-docs.."
"..let's not forget the socially inept grad students.."
"..demanding PIs who don't know what they're demanding..."
"..lily-livered mentors who quail in front of a thesis committee...."
"..thesis committee members, hah! A band of jerks if ever I saw one"
"Finally, here's 50 for the Shattering of my Illusions, you bastards"
Graduation gown confetti scattered around her feet as she glowed softly with satisfaction....and possibly exertion.
